When I Was Not Enough: Death of A Friendship

Seeing a friendship that was once vibrant with life and laughter die in front of your eyes can be a sad sight. As it takes its final breath, I have … Continue reading When I Was Not Enough: Death of A Friendship

Makeup Saved My Life

Please don’t judge me for the title of my post, hear me out before you think of me as someone who is “fake” or “self-absorbed.” In my life, I have … Continue reading Makeup Saved My Life

I Read/Write/Watch Horror to Cope with My Mental Illness

I always enjoyed horror though I never considered myself a fan of horror. I remember watching Tim Curry portray Pennywise the Clown in “IT” (1990) when I was three or … Continue reading I Read/Write/Watch Horror to Cope with My Mental Illness

When Things Are Good

I have lived with a mental illness for most of my life so it’s kind of weird when things are going really well. Maybe I’m the only one but when … Continue reading When Things Are Good

An Update, & Some Thoughts About The Future

It never occurred to me that Ativan has become a crutch in my life. I rely on it more and more throughout the last two years. It always seems less and less effective. The answer at the beginning of the year was to increase, and while it worked for a while, it just feels wrong lately. Let’s be honest, I am not dealing well with my social anxiety, it is more about living with the issues and not solving anything. I thought it was possible to let the anxiety run my life and save fixing it for another day.

Learning to Accept the Small Victories

Sometimes I don’t know where I get the strength to go out into the world. I have days where it feels like everyone startles me. My chest pounds the whole … Continue reading Learning to Accept the Small Victories

I Dreamed a Burning Man (A Prose Poem)

It takes every part of me to make the words escape my mouth. “You must stop this,” I yell at the burning man. “Breathe, you must.” He inhales air filling his lungs to capacity, releasing slowly. Everything all around slows, slowly at first. With his every breathe the blurry images passing us by begin to take shape.