I have not really taken a step back and realized that life is not so bad, that despite my mental illnesses I have done great things that will continue to help me not just continue this road to recovery but make me feel good–something missing in my life of late.
I had severe painful anxiety and panic attacks in my early twenties (thirty years ago) and have had anxiety off and on ever since–increasing in severity after my postpartum depression … Continue reading I Still Have Anxiety
Wow, 3 posts in one day, Alan, what the heck are you on? And where can I get some? No but seriously, I have stated that I am 99.9% cured … Continue reading How to beat the backslide
When I came into my current graduate courses I was riding a perfect high. My new novel was coming along, and I was finding a real balance between work (writing … Continue reading When You do Too Much in This Mental Illness Life
Most of my life I lived behind “wishful thinking.” I thought when this or that changed, my life would become better and I would be happy. My “if only” thought … Continue reading Wishful Thinking
I often think about what life would have been like if that day in November 2007, at the age of twenty-two I would have refused to take medication. I was … Continue reading To be, or not to be Medicine Free
Just from these photos, you can see the people that loved him and that five years ago came together to honor this great man. I love my grandfather to this day because he taught me so many great things that I have today. If only he would have seen me continue my recovery with Bipolar 1 and panic disorder, but I believe he is still here in spirit and watching over us with my grandmother.
“You are so brave to share your story,” many people have said to me throughout the years. “Thank you,” I would humbly reply and never felt like I was brave. … Continue reading You Are So Brave…
I didn’t know other people didn’t feel the way I did, or that it wasn’t normal to feel electrical impulses misfiring throughout my body from the top of my head … Continue reading Recovery is Possible (my post featured as a guest author on the Trigger Publishing Blog)
For those that are interested signing up and becoming a patron account is easy, and the lowest tier is $2, and in the future, when my book is published this summer, I will be adding more to the tiers. So why not become a Patron of my writing??
The truth is feeling better is just one step, but it has allowed me to write over 170,000 words in my new novel in almost two months. I am writing, which was impossible at one point because of my anxiety. While things have spiraled with my recent manic episode, I can say my anxiety for once was not my worse issue–for once.
My brain is always moving quickly–thinking, planning, reminiscing, dreaming, creating and is actively working. It doesn’t shut down much. It has always been like this and it always will. That … Continue reading Don’t Be a Negative Nelly