Yesterday I turned 26 years old. I had an absolutely wonderful day spent with my family and my boyfriend. There was nothing lavish or anything but it was time well … Continue reading A Birthday Reflection
I have not written on here for a while because of how up and down my mental health has been. Especially over the past week, I have had some really … Continue reading The Ups & Downs of Being Mentally Ill
In the late fall of 2016 I was at my lowest point mentally of my entire 25 years on Earth. I laid in bed most of the day, suicidal thoughts … Continue reading Finding My Antidepressant Match
This is the first chapter of my memoir. I will be done writing my memoir at the end of November. Please take a read. I welcome and greatly appreciate ALL … Continue reading Shame Ate My Soul
I wrote this about a week ago after a visit from my parents. My PTSD was triggered significantly after only seeing them briefly, but I made it through once again. … Continue reading Ripple Effect of PTSD and Mental Illness
I have one last guest post in honor of Suicide Prevention Month from writer and blogger Kira, you can find her blog at https://jackofwriting.wordpress.com/ My Brother Lost His Fight, But I … Continue reading A Suicide Prevention Month Guest Blog Post
After over twenty years of fighting my demons, I had enough. My depression had become treatment-resistant, and bipolar depression is the absolute worst form of this insidious black fog. My brain didn’t care that I had a loving husband and family, that I was finally financially secure, that the stressors in my life had been reduced to a minimum.
People are afraid to intervene with someone who is having mental health issues or is in crisis. Sometimes it is fear of the unknown and/or a fear of not knowing … Continue reading The Wall of Silence
Suicide is the result of a convergence of genetic, psychological, social and cultural and other risk factors, sometimes combined with experiences of trauma and loss. People who take their own lives represent a heterogeneous group, with unique, complex and multifaceted causal influences preceding their final act. Such heterogeneity presents challenges for suicide prevention experts. These challenges can be overcome by adopting a multilevel and cohesive approach to suicide prevention.
To be in a place where suicide is the only option isn’t as fresh in my mind, but it is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I remember it well. You never forget the depths of the darkness that is suicidal thoughts. The places that my mind went to when my depression was at its darkest was hell, and it felt like there was no escape. I wanted to be anywhere but in my own body.
50 minutes later, via many diversions down alleys due to flooded streets, I’m finally wheeled into the mental hospital. I’m starting to think that now, finally, I can get some rest and get my meds. I’m starting to go through withdrawal. It’d been 36 hours since I’d taken them.
***Possible Trigger Warning*** This post contains content about suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. This is a post I wrote about a year ago. This was just one of the many … Continue reading My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me